2 Four Million Dollar Babes

$4Million just for a stern?

Basking naked in Bakers Bay, one day, a couple of gorgeous girls ‘SkiDoo’s (or whatever?) raced towards me. Before I could hold my Gin & Tonic up and my free hand and shout “Whoa…Naked Boy!!” the girls were upon me…..(as it were!), “Do you mind if we picnic on your beach” one asked……”It’s not my beach, so yes, please feel free” I splutter (dipping low in the 18inches of water but not hiding a small thing)……”would you like to join us?” the other asks……”Eeer, thank you, can I put some clothes on first!!!”……lots of tittering and then radioing to a hidden boat.
The girls churn up the tranquillity with their ‘Kawasaki’s on water’ and head for the beach. I head out to ‘Daze Off’ to cover my bits. Some minutes pass…….a larger power boat arrives (about 25-30ft), the captain heaves out an anchor and both on board wade ashore, one carrying the BBQ the other carrying two huge ice boxes, back and forth they wade – filling the once empty beach with all mod’ con’s which by now has a smoking gas three ring plus griddle BBQ emanating the ubiquitous waft of cooking sausages or is it burgers? No it’s lobster!!!.
The two girls are now ensconced within inflatable arm chairs (blown up by the on-board electric pumps) complete with Rum & Coke bobbing in the small wavelets and spinning giddily…..this is all very wonderful, it certainly brightened up the quiet afternoon.
Next the REAL Captain arrives – in an even bigger runabout, so I ask, “where is your boat you’ve come from?”……”Oh it’s just the one you see in the bay [there IS only ONE boat – which is actually a small ship!! – to be seen]…….”Do you mean that huge liner I can see over the horizon?” I enquire!! – and so the conversation turns to me. I am facing two of the most gorgeous girls, two servants and a Captain of the biggest vessel to come into Bakers Bay and proudly point to ‘Daze Off’ stating – “that’s my home, this is where I live”…..An excellent evening is had by all.
Before the 4 runabouts clear off, I ask where they are bound…..”Nippers, tomorrow, would you like to come”…..”I’d love a lift if I can leave my boat here” I say, “OK, a launch will call for you at 9.00am, is that OK?”…..[is the Pope a Catholic?].
9.00am on the dot, the actual Captain arrives himself…….”I’ll drop you off at the big boat and catch you later, my Captain and his girl will take you to Nippers”…….Not needing to lock ‘Daze Off’, I hop over the rails and I’m aboard before he stops talking……the big boat gets bigger and BIGGER and bloody huge!!!! I’m dropped off and told to make my way to the top deck and sit with Jim – “help yourself to a beer” (at 9am!!!!!!) Yuk……
Jim and his girl Friday run the boat, they do everything I do – but on a scale 100 times bigger. The huge chain and massive anchor clank noisily to rise from the deep channel [made for the cruise ships which once sailed there], we sit back and I ask questions…….turns out it holds 17,000 gallons of fuel (about $35,000 to fill up!!!!) it does 7 gallons to the mile at about 16 knots…..the owner (who has just dropped me off) has just spent $4,000,000 having a new stern built to LOWER and RAISE the back end in and out of the water simply to allow the four launches to sail right inside………..Yippee!! Nippers here I come….I sip a cold beer at 9.30am reflecting how much a stern would cost on ‘Daze Off’…I think a new dive platform was about $150 – ho hum………
Addendum ………
Isn’t Richard short for Dick?
There is an addendum to the lift I got to Nippers…….having had the luxury yacht drop me off, I spent all day at Nippers Bar [www.nippersbar.com] and forgot how I was to get back to Bakers Bay where my boat was. Richard (well named) offered to give me a ride back in his new dinghy, very posh it was, a quiet engine, clean lines and spotless (for a man anyway)…….we climbed down the dock at Fishers Bay into his hard new dink – the engine just purred away and we were off at some rapid rate of knots…..luckily, I’m actually holding on for dear life as suddenly he he wants to check if the painter is inboard and lets go of the tiller/throttle (which is new and stiff and thus on full whack!!!) but the tiller is very loose [and you should NEVER EVER leave go of the tiller!!!!] the dink jerks hard to starboard (right to you!) and I flip overboard still holding on but now UNDER the bloody dink……Richard is thrown INTO the dink and regains a modicum of control………
Now…. the dink is about 10 ft long, I’m about 6ft long – holding on to the safety line, with the dink still speeding – I’m obviously stretched out lying in a stream of gurgling bubbles and my feet are inches away from three churning new propellers, I’m holding my breath, I can’t leave go (because I’ll be dragged into the prop’s!!!) Dick is now a true Dick – he is back holding the tiller looking all around mystified, the engine is still driving the dink, HE just can’t see me!!!!! [I’m thinking to myself……I’m going to either get minced or drowned] when suddenly the dink stops…..he’s not stopped because he knows I’m under the bloody dink!!!Oh No, he’s stopped because he thinks I’ve simply let go – way back…….just as he is about to start the engine again – I spring up out of the water like a performing dolphin and dive right into the dink…….”Are you procreatingy mad”? (or words to that effect) – I shout!!!!
My electronic ‘PocketMail’ device was submerged (thus knackered), my shades came off, my T shirt was ripped to shreds but my deck shoes weirdly stayed on!!!! I have no clue why his teeth stayed in his mouth……the day Richard proved he was a Dick………..
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